I made the mistake of having a very very short haircut and my passport photo looks a bit like an escapee from the French foreign legion, no it doesn't it look exactly like an escapee (or is it escaper??)from the French foreign region after he's been trod on by a camel whilst hiding .

We went to the post office and for an extra £5 each they fast tracked it and we got it back in a week

PASSPORT PHOTO'S

I used my Photosuite program to print off a few pages of passport photos ..believe me you'll need 'em

COPY DRIVERS LICENCE

I photocopied our pink driving licenses and enveloped them in plastic, We intend to use these as disposable proof of identity at camp sites, road blocks etc. (but NOT in England!)

DRIVING LICENCE:

Well we've got a full English driving licenses but I felt I needed an international driving license so I downloaded the form from the RAC website and decided I'd get two each . It cost £8 and was delivered back within a week

CARNET EN PASSAGE:.

I think everyone knows about Carnet by now but if you don't briefly it allows you to import a vehicle into a country without paying duty, so if you get an offer you cant refuse and sell the car the RAC will pay the duty for you.

The value of the carnet will be the maximum duty payable in the countries where you're traveling to and in Egypt its 500% of the value of the car!!

Which sounds fine, unfortunately the RAC before they will issue with a Carnet (being cynical sods) will insist on an insurance policy for the full value which will cost you 10% of the value of the carnet (but you get 5% back if they don't have to pay out).

Getting a Bank guarantee is cheaper but you'll need to give the bank a back up surety, either in the form of lodging the amount of the guarantee (could be £50,000) yeah right!!!, or give them a charge on your house, or plead with a rich relative or someone else's rich relative and for this the bank will charge you about £250.

Sue Collins of the RAC (01454 208000 ext 33837) seems alarmingly efficient and is obviously used to people ringing her with exotic (or even erotic!) travel plans. She explained in words of one syllable how it all worked and they only charge £110

VISAS

LIBYA

So you need a letter of invitation from someone in Libya, (how many people do you know in Libya?) then you need a to have a stamp in your passport translated and then they'll give you a visa valid for 45 days from the date of issue but they wont tell you how long it will take to issue the visa.

Or you can simply ask United Travel in London to do it all for you. it'll only cost you £240, and you still wont know if the timing is right,

Or Kalif Ahmed visaservices45@aol.com (0208 748 9898) who makes the expression "laid back" seem like manic.

We finally decided to trust Kalif (the fact that he quoted £80 each perhaps contributed) and after a number of contacts sent him details and he finally got our invitation. We left the passports with him and he got it back within a week.

The £80 each is only for the visa you'll need to budget another £80 odd for their services at the Libyan border, £50 per day for the guide whilst your in there, but diesel is only 1p per litre

SUDAN

I am reliably informed that you can get a a Sudanese visa in Cairo for $60 but the thought of waiting in long queues in Cairo didn't appeal.

The problem isn't getting the visa issued, its the sending the application back to Sudan for approval that takes the time, four weeks to be precise

For all you English students out there "precise " and "Sudan" are what's called and Oxymoron...Sudan and waiting are what's called a pleonasm!

Where was I ..oh yes.. once you've got that permission it takes 24 hours

We went along to the Sudanese embassy in London who were extremely helpful and pleasant (he gave us a rich tea biscuit!) and agreed that it would certainly be possible as an alternative for the application to be made in London and when they got it back they would send it to Cairo..simple!!!!..er..we looked at the helpful smiling man looked at each other and decided not to risk it, but to wait till we got the visa before leaving..yes I know I'm an old cynic..but hell its my only weakness..well no its not its one of them,,one of the others is losing my temper when confronted by mindless bureaucracy in 40 degrees of heat

I've contacted George and Mike at the Acropole Hotel Khartoum and am reliably (there's that word reliably again!! informed that they will get it in 5 to 10 days time will tell, and the Sudanese have more time than they have grains of sand.

Oh yes! be prepared to pay £53 each for the privilege, but the wait is thrown in for free.

NEW 04/05/04

That's it I've had enough I'm going next Tuesday (11th may)...phoned various people and they all said in spite of what they might say in the Sudanese embassy you cant get a visa from there..you need someone to get it for you in Sudan..why the bloody hell don't they tell you and stop messing peoples lives up!!!.

I'll try and get it in Cairo or get them to forward it to Cairo when it comes in....dream on Watts..and there's always George at the Acropole

EGYPT

Easy! we went to London applied in the morning and collected them in the afternoon. They didn't smile at my jokes but then perhaps I'm being picky..people rarely do ..although they did smile when they asked me for £18 each for the visa and I said "that's cheap!"

INSURANCE

Campbell Irvine will arrange world wide insurance which seems ok for £375 each as long as you don't go to America..contact Mike Berry 0207 937 6981

SORN

If you have a vehicle that your leaving behind and the road tax expires before you return it'll cost you £80 automatically for not renewing it.

So get a SORN form from the post office and declare the vehicle off road..at the same time you can rant ineffectually about the hidden taxes like that and various other new ways they have of extracting money from the middle classes especially the middle class motorists ..and no doubt people will ignore you also

We're fed up with paperwork ..its boring. but we know if we don't get it right we'll have hassle at the borders when its hot and we're tired and sticky, and bad tempered which is not a good idea